parenthood

14 Weeks As A Mom

Sadie is officially 14 weeks old. A little more than a quarter of a year. How?! I last posted my thoughts on being a mom at the six week mark, and I’m back eight weeks later with more thoughts.

Loving Sadie is easy. Being a parent is (sometimes) hard. It’s a rewarding experience.

I still don’t feel like a mom. I feel like Sadie’s mom when someone besides me is holding her and she cries until she’s back in my arms. But feeling like an actual mom (<– whatever that means)? Not really!

I adore holding her soft little hands and her smile is my favorite.

Holding baby hand

I’m totally dreading ever having to discipline her. She’s just so cute, innocent, and sweet that I can’t imagine that day I have to enforce rules and boundaries with her.

I really enjoy connecting with other parents. It kind of feels like a club ­čÖé

I’m learning to trust my instinct, but at the same time I have no idea what I’m doing.

It’s so much fun to see Sadie discover the world around her. Her joy brings me joy.

Three month old baby in jumper

Not knowing what to expect is hard. Every single day, I wake up not knowing what the day will bring. I’m sure we’ll settle into a routine as Sadie grows, but this type-A planner chick struggles with the unknown.

I’m learning to go with the flow. Along with my last point about not knowing what to expect, I’m learning that it’s much easier if I just surrender to what the day brings. When I try to force XYZ to happen, it just results in stress. It’s so much more freeing to say, “Well, I’d like to fold laundry and get groceries today, but I might be feeding Sadie all day because she’s going through a growth spurt and that’s okay.” I have to remind myself what’s most important and realize everything else can wait.

Being a family is so cool. I don’t know how else to put it. I love hanging out with Jimmy, Sadie, and the pets. I still can’t believe it’s all real sometimes. It feels like such a great blessing and responsibility from God. It’s very, very humbling!

Husband and wife kissing and holding baby family photo

In the first weeks of motherhood, I felt absolutely consumed by caring for our sweet girl. I thought I’d never get to do things like blog, watercolor, or bake again. The weight of caring for a baby felt (and still feels) heavy, but I am finding time here and there to enjoy my hobbies and passions. Taking time to do things the “old me” used to do feels so wonderful.

Breastfeeding is amazing and hard. Before I had Sadie, I decided I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed if it didn’t work out. It turned out that Sadie didn’t give me a choice (she snubs bottles!), and I’m kind of glad. It has been such a journey and learning curve, but it’s also incredibly special and rewarding.

I have no idea what I’d do without help from Jimmy, our families, and church family.

Showering, getting dressed, and getting out every day does wonders for my sanity. I think Sadie likes the change of scenery, too.

Baby in stroller with cocker spaniel dog walking beside

Some days are productive and others are just… not, lol.

Life will never be the same, and it’s always changing. Some things are becoming easier and some are becoming harder. It will always be that way. What an adventure.

It’s easy to worry about┬áSadie’s development but I’m going to let her be a baby. I see so many videos, products, posts, etc. about baby development, milestones, and more. I could be teaching her Spanish or┬átaking her to music lessons, but I think a baby should be a baby. She’ll develop just fine whether or not I speak Spanish to her.

Our pets continue to impress us with how they’ve accepted Sadie. Lola is indifferent to her, Mavis loves her, and Malcolm thinks she’s his baby. I can’t wait to see how their relationships develop as Sadie grows.

Cocker spaniel dog and baby laying together

Mom shaming is a thing. I’ve been scolded twice in public for not having a hat on Sadie. Yikes.

Surrender has been my word since having Sadie. I need to surrender my plans, surrender to this new journey, and surrender to all God is doing in my life.

Jimmy is so competent with Sadie.┬áNo one soothes Sadie like her daddy does.┬áJimmy is┬áalso amazing at helping me. He comes home after eight or nine hours at work and dives right into family life with us and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Dad with baby girl in nursery

I want to give┬áSadie the whole world. Of course I know what she needs most is love and to know the Lord, and I don’t want her to become spoiled, but I want to give her the best life possible.

I feel God refining me. He is teaching me patience, selflessness, and surrender. In turn, He has given me the gift of our daughter, joy, and so much thankfulness!

Six Weeks as a Mom

Sadie is six weeks old! I’ve been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, and here’s what I think of being a mom six weeks in.

The past six weeks have been the fastest of my life.

I love being Sadie’s mom, but I don’t really feel like a mom. What does that feel like? Will I know when I feel it?

Sometimes when Sadie cries, I’m the only person she’ll stop crying for. This is adorable and also overwhelming.

Seeing the joy that Sadie brings to our family and friends makes me so happy.

I knew breastfeeding would be a big learning curve, but the first few weeks were intense. We had some issues with clogged ducts, thrush, and engorgement. We pushed through, though, and I’m so glad we did.

It has been a big adjustment to realize that for now, I’m Sadie’s source of food 24/7 because she’s not a fan of bottles. Knowing that she won’t be breastfeeding around the clock when she’s in high school (or even a year from now haha) helps me realize that this time of nursing on demand is just a season and should be savored. I love when she locks eyes with me and rests her little hand on my chest.

Seeing Jimmy and Sadie interact is still one of my favorite things.

I feel so connected with other parents. Also, anyone with more than one child is a superhero. How do they do it all?!

I’m insanely excited for my sister to experience this.

We’re slowly getting better at getting out of the house and going places. Baby carriers are worth their weight in gold!

While we’re getting better at getting out, we don’t really have any type of schedule right now and I’m (usually, haha) totally okay with that.

I’m surprised at how much I don’t mind changing diaper after diaper… for now? I’ve always heard that when it’s your child’s diaper you’re changing, it’s not so bad. I’ve found that to be true!

I miss being as productive as I used to be. At the same time, being a parent and fulfilling the needs of our child is one the best things I’ve ever done.

The witching hour is real. I’d say it’s actually more witching hours for us. It’s hard and sometimes we both cry.

Bath time is the best! She gets so calm and curious. I love, love, love it.

I think I’m going to become ambidextrous. Sadie always wants to nurse when I eat, so I’ve learned to eat with one hand/left handed/balancing a plate on the couch/standing at the counter/etc.

It’s so true when people tell you that holidays become more special when you have a child. I’m crazy excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year!

The worry that comes with motherhood can be all consuming. Is she breathing? Does she have a fever? Will she grow up to be a decent human being? I’m learning to trust that God is in control.

Our pets have truly adjusted so well. It’s like a switch flipped and they realized there’s a new little human they need to respect. We still have days that are overwhelming and frustrating, but that’s to be expected.

I love dressing her up, but I think she’s the cutest in her pjs!

It has been strangely fun to discover which baby products we like.

Seeing Jimmy become a father has been absolutely amazing.

Sadie’s smiles melt my heart. I’ll do anything to make her smile.

My life feels so radically different than it did six weeks ago. It’s such a huge change, but one of the best changes of my entire life.

I still can’t believe God blessed Jimmy and I with our daughter. Like, she’s real. And she’s amazing. And we love her so much. It’s just indescribable and we are so incredibly thankful.