My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. My arms were burning and I wasn’t sure if I could hold on much longer. My breathing was ragged. My whole body was tense and my focus was unwavering.
Nothing else around me registered until I heard Sadie’s sweet voice break through as she called out “Go Mom!” Her cheer was exactly what pushed me to extend my arm and ring the bell as I hovered 30 feet above the ground on a rock climbing wall.
I’m not sure if it’s the fact that Mordecai is growing up—he turns four in a few weeks—or the fact that our other children are girls, but there’s just something so tender about having a little boy that I’ve been cherishing lately.
The way he wants to snuggle, be held, read books, hold my hand, and play with my hair—these are all things that feel so fleeting as he grows up, especially as a boy. It makes me tear up just thinking about it.
We went to a thrift store over the weekend and he chose the sweater vest and tie he’s wearing in the photo above and it melted my heart. He exclaimed “I look like a teacher!” and kept asking when it was Sunday so he could wear it to church.
Every night, I find myself snuggled up in bed next to Mordecai as we read about dump trucks, diggers, and fire trucks. They’re not my reading topic of choice, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love coming across scenes like a table set with plates full of toy trucks. He said he was making us dinner.
I hold him and feel his heart beating against mine, just like it did when he was a newborn and would sleep on my chest.
I don’t have any deep thoughts aside from wanting time to slow down so I can savor him a little more. 🥹 🩵
