My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking. My arms were burning and I wasn’t sure if I could hold on much longer. My breathing was ragged. My whole body was tense and my focus was unwavering.
Nothing else around me registered until I heard Sadie’s sweet voice break through as she called out “Go Mom!” Her cheer was exactly what pushed me to extend my arm and ring the bell as I hovered 30 feet above the ground on a rock climbing wall.
How could I not show her that it’s possible to push yourself just a little outside your comfort zone to reach something you can be proud of? I rang that bell and smiled and I belayed down the wall, way more out of breath than I expected to be.
But let me back up a little.
It was Saturday night and we had ventured to a sporting goods store nearby with a climbing wall. Sadie was excited to try it out, but has told us multiple times that she’s afraid of heights.
When she got in line to climb, I decided that I’d do it right along with her so she didn’t feel alone. We waited as other climbers got strapped into their harnesses and she kept glancing at me.
“You’re definitely doing it?” she asked. “Right, Mom?”
“Sure!” I replied easily.
The truth was, I was kind of excited. It had been years since I’d been on a climbing wall and strapped into all the gear. It brought back memories of a church camp I’d attended when I was around Sadie’s age. We had the option to take sports classes with our free time and I had chosen archery and rock climbing. Both are still things I love to this day.
Having the opportunity to climb a wall again on a random Saturday night? Count me in!
The kids ahead of Sadie and me chose the medium-grade sections of the wall, leaving the beginner section for Sadie and a more technical spot for me.
Gulp. I was excited, but not really sure I could scale up the technical wall. There was no pressure, though. If I fell, the belay system would catch me and I could try again. No harm, no foul.
Sadie started her climb, her long spider legs pushing her up the wall. She didn’t get too far before nervousness about the height got the best of her. She shakily came back down.
But then she did something that made me so proud. She tried again. And she made it to the top that time. She honked a horn and came back down, all smiles.
I was more proud of her for trying again than I was for her reaching the top. She had felt fear, but she kept going.
She got back on the wall and did it again. And then she tried the medium-difficulty wall a few times before mastering that.
Meanwhile, I scaled my way up the technical wall, surprising myself that I still had it in me. I remembered the textured feel of the grips, how to adjust my feet and hands to reach the next spot. I came back down, smiling as hard as Sadie had.
“Alright Mom,” the instructor addressed me. “Want to try the advanced wall?”
“Oh,” I replied, surprised. I thought the instructor was just humoring me for a climb so I could be there for Sadie. “Well, I don’t think I can but I’ll try?”
The carabiner at my waist clipped with a loud click and I stared up thirty feet.
“Stay to the right of the red grips when you get near the top.” the instructor called out as I began to climb. “You’re looking for the blue rope at the top. That’s the bell.”
Wait. This guy actually thought I could make it to the top?
Why did a stranger have more faith in me than I did in myself?
I’d just watched Sadie surprise herself by doing something she was afraid to try. And here I was, about to have the opportunity to try something hard, too.
It took me a bit, especially as I neared the top, but I scaled that advanced wall after much focus, huffing and puffing, and a cheer from my Sadie girl.
And you know what? It felt good. It felt good to do something fun and hard and to do it with my daughter.
I did it!
I had joined Sadie on the rock climbing wall because I wanted to show her that it’s okay to be afraid and try something hard anyway. But somewhere along the way, she ended up encouraging me to do the exact same thing.
It was a sweet motherhood surprise from my child who is growing up all too fast. I’ve spent the past eight years cheering her on, encouraging her to be brave, and reminding her that she can do tough stuff. And then, suddenly, she was the one cheering me on.
I couldn’t get over how easily I had underestimated myself. I had already decided the advanced wall was probably too difficult for me before I’d even tried! Meanwhile, a complete stranger looked at me and thought I could do it.
Of course, not every challenge ends as tidily as ringing a bell at the top. Sometimes we try something and we don’t quite make it. But there’s still something worthwhile about being willing to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome.
That’s what I’ll remember most from our random Saturday night. Not necessarily making it to the top of a climbing wall, but watching Sadie find her courage, finding a touch of my own, and sharing an unexpected adventure together.
Rock climbing and a little courage made for a perfect Saturday night!
Other Notes and Thoughts 📝
- Scripture I’m loving: Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. 1 Chronicles 16:24 🙏🏻
- My kids are obsessed with the song Big Bad Frog. Sorry if you listen to this and get it stuck in your head. 🐸
- Thanksgiving is coming up! Some recipe ideas: butternut squash muffins, apple pie, turkey soup (for using up leftovers!), and apple cider cupcakes. 🧁
I think I want to try it!!
What an amazing post – I’m so proud of both of you 🥰 I will admit- I cried, because your writing is incredible and I felt like I was right there watching.
Love you, Madre