Sadie is officially 14 weeks old. A little more than a quarter of a year. How?! I last posted my thoughts on being a mom at the six week mark, and I’m back eight weeks later with more thoughts.

Loving Sadie is easy. Being a parent is (sometimes) hard. It’s a rewarding experience.

I still don’t feel like a mom. I feel like Sadie’s mom when someone besides me is holding her and she cries until she’s back in my arms. But feeling like an actual mom (<– whatever that means)? Not really!

I adore holding her soft little hands and her smile is my favorite.

I’m totally dreading ever having to discipline her. She’s just so cute, innocent, and sweet that I can’t imagine that day I have to enforce rules and boundaries with her.

I really enjoy connecting with other parents. It kind of feels like a club 🙂

I’m learning to trust my instinct, but at the same time I have no idea what I’m doing.

It’s so much fun to see Sadie discover the world around her. Her joy brings me joy.

Not knowing what to expect is hard. Every single day, I wake up not knowing what the day will bring. I’m sure we’ll settle into a routine as Sadie grows, but this type-A planner chick struggles with the unknown.

I’m learning to go with the flow. Along with my last point about not knowing what to expect, I’m learning that it’s much easier if I just surrender to what the day brings. When I try to force XYZ to happen, it just results in stress. It’s so much more freeing to say, “Well, I’d like to fold laundry and get groceries today, but I might be feeding Sadie all day because she’s going through a growth spurt and that’s okay.” I have to remind myself what’s most important and realize everything else can wait.

Being a family is so cool. I don’t know how else to put it. I love hanging out with Jimmy, Sadie, and the pets. I still can’t believe it’s all real sometimes. It feels like such a great blessing and responsibility from God. It’s very, very humbling!

In the first weeks of motherhood, I felt absolutely consumed by caring for our sweet girl. I thought I’d never get to do things like blog, watercolor, or bake again. The weight of caring for a baby felt (and still feels) heavy, but I am finding time here and there to enjoy my hobbies and passions. Taking time to do things the “old me” used to do feels so wonderful.

Breastfeeding is amazing and hard. Before I had Sadie, I decided I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to breastfeed if it didn’t work out. It turned out that Sadie didn’t give me a choice (she snubs bottles!), and I’m kind of glad. It has been such a journey and learning curve, but it’s also incredibly special and rewarding.

I have no idea what I’d do without help from Jimmy, our families, and church family.

Showering, getting dressed, and getting out every day does wonders for my sanity. I think Sadie likes the change of scenery, too.

Some days are productive and others are just… not, lol.

Life will never be the same, and it’s always changing. Some things are becoming easier and some are becoming harder. It will always be that way. What an adventure.

It’s easy to worry about Sadie’s development but I’m going to let her be a baby. I see so many videos, products, posts, etc. about baby development, milestones, and more. I could be teaching her Spanish or taking her to music lessons, but I think a baby should be a baby. She’ll develop just fine whether or not I speak Spanish to her.

Our pets continue to impress us with how they’ve accepted Sadie. Lola is indifferent to her, Mavis loves her, and Malcolm thinks she’s his baby. I can’t wait to see how their relationships develop as Sadie grows.

Mom shaming is a thing. I’ve been scolded twice in public for not having a hat on Sadie. Yikes.

Surrender has been my word since having Sadie. I need to surrender my plans, surrender to this new journey, and surrender to all God is doing in my life.

Jimmy is so competent with Sadie. No one soothes Sadie like her daddy does. Jimmy is also amazing at helping me. He comes home after eight or nine hours at work and dives right into family life with us and I couldn’t be more grateful.

I want to give Sadie the whole world. Of course I know what she needs most is love and to know the Lord, and I don’t want her to become spoiled, but I want to give her the best life possible.

I feel God refining me. He is teaching me patience, selflessness, and surrender. In turn, He has given me the gift of our daughter, joy, and so much thankfulness!