The past six weeks have absolutely flown by in a blur of joy, sleep deprivation, snuggles, never-ending laundry, smiles, and some tears.
I wanted to check in and (over)share how things are going now as we emerge from the early days postpartum. I jotted down thoughts in the notes app on my phone, and I decided to categorize everything into three sections: body, emotions, and favorites. As always, I promise to keep it real!
I had my six week checkup and everything went well! The midwife gave me a prescription for physical therapy for diastasis recti, which is abdominal separation. I had it after Sadie’s pregnancy, so I figured I would with this one, too.
I am feeling pretty much back to normal! It’s amazing to not have to pee every 20 minutes and not have my hernia hurt from the pressure of a baby. I had some wicked night sweats for a couple of weeks, but now I’m onto the hair loss phase of postpartum 😂
Of course, my body is completely different than it was before having kids, and even different from before having Mordecai. My clothes fit weird–my “normal” clothes fit differently now, my maternity clothes aren’t practical, and I also have to take nursing into consideration when choosing what to wear. Flannel shirts, wrap dresses and tops, and nursing-specific clothes are my wardrobe at the moment!
I collected more stretch marks on my belly from this pregnancy. They don’t bother me–I honestly just don’t have time to think much about how my body looks. Sadie asked me what they were when we were showering together.
I told her my the skin on my belly stretched when I had her and Mordecai inside me and she told me they looked like teeth marks?! I kept it positive and emphasized how cool it was that my stomach could stretch to hold babies and she accepted it and moved on. Kids are pretty cool like that 😎
My emotions have been up and down the past six weeks, but they’re definitely leveling out as I adjust to two kids and my hormones settle down a bit. I struggle the most with guilt over not giving Sadie as much one-on-one time and attention as I have the past four years.
For the past four years, she was my sidekick and with me 24/7, so of course it was a big change when Mordecai came along. She took the change so much better than I did, honestly! I had to remind myself that having another child didn’t mean I somehow lost Sadie. Having another child meant I gained Mordecai.
I felt very defensive of him at first and even emotionally distant from Sadie. I was afraid she (or the pets!) would accidentally step on him. Sadie is extremely gentle and sweet with her brother. We’ve still had our tough moments: the toughest being Sadie asking me if I hated her and then her recently asking Jimmy and I if we just love Mordecai and not her.
We try to give as much attention as we can to Sadie while caring for Mordecai, but overall she has been very, very tolerant and accepting of the big change and absolutely adores her brother. I try to find ways to squeeze in devoted time with her: reading to her while I feed Mordecai, doing school while he sleeps, and taking showers together.
Having two kids means I have a lot less time for things I used to do. It’s hard to miss out on those things (sleeping, reading, baking, blogging, yoga, etc.) or do them less, but I know I’m in an intense and amazing season and I wouldn’t trade my children for the world.
I’ve learned to “unfocus my lens” and “zoom out” of the moment I’m in. I can get fixated on how tired I am, how I just want to take a shower by myself, not hear so much noise, or see so many messes, but this isn’t forever.
I won’t have two young, sweet children forever and that’s just how it is. I won’t be changing diapers for the next 20 years, but I won’t have a snuggly baby forever. It’s a give and a take as they grow. Each season will have its pros and cons and when I remember how quickly time passes, it makes even the difficult moments sweeter.
Another thing that is likely hormone related is intrusive thoughts. I’ll randomly find myself thinking what if this or that happened, and while freak accidents sadly happen in life, I’ve learned to recognize when weird/intrusive thoughts are clouding my brain and to take them for what they are–an intrusion.
With that being said, it’s crazy to have my heart outside my body x2. When Sadie and Mordecai were inside me, they were safe. Now they’re out and in the world and anything could happen. When I think about that, I take a deep breath and give my children over to God. They’re His ❤️
Favorites (Products + Moments)
My favorite moments have been ordinary moments: Sadie picking out Mordecai’s outfit for the day, going to the store as a family of four, Mordecai reacting to Sadie’s voice, waking up to a smiley baby, family walks, doing school with Sadie while her brother sleeps in the carrier, and bath time. Just little things that are the big things for me ❤️
My favorite products are mostly nursing related (because we do that a lot, lol), but there are a few baby and mom things in there, too!
- Nursing favorites: lactation cookie mix, nursing cover, hoodie, shirts, and any shirt or dress with buttons or a wrap-style closure.
- Mom favorites: postnatal vitamins, and Risen Motherhood book.
- Baby favorites: baby carrier, swaddles, tummy time llama, and compact swing.
Well, that’s everything I have for the past six weeks! I am feeling tired, happy, and very, very blessed.