I can’t believe six weeks have passed since we became a family of five! How can I describe the past six weeks? Blessed, joyful, and busy! Also full of laundry, growth, and memories.

Just like when I was six weeks postpartum with Mordecai, I have a lot of thoughts on life lately. So, here’s a post full of ’em!

Dakota

She has made the transition to being a family of five very smooth. So far, she has been a very chill baby! So chill that I–very guiltily–forget that she exists. I think I’m just so busy with parenting Sadie and Mordecai, homeschooling, and keeping up with the house that I often don’t remember Dakota is here. I know as she grows and wakes up more, that will change! She is becoming more familiar to me and every day I wake up excited to see how she has changed, grown, and developed her own personality.

She is cherished by everyone in our family. Jimmy comes home from work and loves to hold her because he misses her during the day. Mordecai gets so concerned when she cries and says “Kota crying!” and will sing to her. Sadie is my big helper girl. She adores holding her sister and will do anything to make her smile. In short, Dakota has been a blessing and a dream! We love her so much 🫶

Family Life

“I had five kids and it’s so easy to forget! I don’t know how you moms do it!” A woman said this to me in a parking lot the other day.

“What’s your biggest piece of advice?” I asked. If someone has more experience than me, I love to hear their words of wisdom!

“I know it’s easy to want to just snuggle that new baby, but the baby doesn’t know what’s going on,” she said. “You know who will remember that you paid attention to them and snuggled them during this time? Your older kids.”

That hit me hard! Everyone says to cherish the newborn snuggles because they grow so fast. And newborns do. But the older kids grow fast, too and now I’m tearing up just thinking about it. To my kids, Jimmy and I are their everything. I never want them to feel ignored or usurped by a baby. But it’s hard to be everyone’s everything every day. That was a lot of “every” haha.

I spend my days playing with the kids, feeding Dakota, changing diapers, cleaning the house, cooking meals, and more… and there is nowhere else I would rather be. There is nothing else I would rather be doing. At the same time, I feel like someone’s sweaty, wrung out gym towel that got stomped on at the end of each day. And I think that’s a good thing. Because it means I am giving my all to the blessings in my life. I pray I am a good steward of the gifts God has given me.

At the end of the day, when I have wiped the same table 17 times, vacuumed up crumbs, kissed boo boos, taught school lessons, given baths, breastfed the baby, changed diapers, taken the kids outside, fed the pets, and am exhausted and Sadie asks me “Will you read me a book, mommy?” the answer will be yes. Because she needs me. And I’m her person just as much as I’m Dakota’s person when she cries and needs to eat.

I think the thing that is hard about being in the trenches of three young children is that everyone needs me at once and in all different ways.

At one moment in time, Dakota could be crying to eat, I’m trying to finish a school lesson with Sadie, and Mordecai is tugging on my shirt to play cars with him. I want (and need!) to fulfill all their needs, but I often have to prioritize them–knowing Dakota truly needs to eat right now to grow and thrive–and that’s hard. It’s a balancing act 24/7 and I don’t want anyone to feel like they are less important. Because all of my kids are equally important to me. They just have different needs. So my solution has been to maximize my time with them in ways that I pray are meaningful.

For example, if Mordecai and Dakota nap at the same time, Sadie and I do crafts or cook and bake together. She soaks up the one-on-one attention. If Jimmy is home and I need to go to the store, I’ll pop Dakota into her baby carrier and bring Mordecai with me. I let him choose a special snack and hold his hand and dote on him as much as possible while Dakota snoozes in the carrier. Dakota gets all my time when I feed her, which is multiple times a day (and night!). I know the priority/urgent feeling of the kids needs will ebb and flow and even out as they grow, but that’s the big challenge now. Just desperately trying to let everyone know how deeply they are loved by their mom.

Oh, and I have a husband! He deserves all the love too! We have been trying to go on little dates (with Dakota in tow since she’s nursing constantly) while Jimmy’s mom watches the older kids on Saturday mornings. Could we go our separate ways with the time and do “productive” things like house projects and cleaning? Yes, but right now it’s more productive that we spend our time together, even if it means I ignore the laundry pile and he ignores renovation projects for the time being.

Family life is just the absolute best. Truly. I know I just spent a few paragraphs describing the hard things, but it’s all a blessing. Ten years ago, I could only dream about the very life I have right this second. I constantly try to take time to stop and think: I am literally living the life I prayed for so desperately. Each of my children are part of my purpose in this life. My husband is my biggest supporter. We have a home full of life and love. I am so thankful!

Body

“I need to hug something!” Sadie declared as she ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Your belly is so squishy!”

Similar to Mordecai’s postpartum regarding my body, I just don’t have time to dwell on my body these days. Is my stomach soft, with loose skin and stretch marks? Yes. But it housed three children! Three!! Of course it’s going to look used. Because it has been. For the most amazing purpose I could ever experience: bringing my children into this world.

My anemia is under control at the moment and I see my hematologist next month to see if I need another iron infusion or if I can hold off for a few months. At my six week postpartum checkup the midwife said I had abdominal separation, so I will be doing physical therapy for that again! I also need to find a two hour chunk of time to get tested for diabetes since I have an increased risk for it after having gestational diabetes.

My body is still putting itself back together and working itself out postpartum and I’m sure it will do that for a few more months. Having three kids makes it impossible to rest and just snuggle on the couch and my postpartum bleeding has reflected that. I have to do laundry, clean the house, cook meals, play with the kids, get groceries, and more. And that’s okay! My body will fully heal, even if it’s slower due to having to be more active.

I am so relieved the night sweats from early postpartum have subsided! Now I’m onto the phase of extra of hair coming out in the shower, lol.

Emotions

My emotions have been up and down, but overall good. With each postpartum, I have come to expect an increase in intrusive thoughts. Things like “What if (insert random horrible thing) happens.” I decided to combat those increased thoughts, likely due to hormones, with some natural remedies: one for postpartum hormone balancing and one for general stress. I feel like they have been very beneficial and now I only take them on an as-needed basis.

Other hard things have been brain fog and difficulty making decisions. I am still feeling like it’s February right now but we’re in April. What?! Everyday decisions have been hard to make, I think, because I am so short on time and want to use my time in the best way. I can never make a “perfect” decision. Things like should we take a family walk or should we stay home so I can mop the floors trip me up. What’s the best decision? I roll over things like this in my brain until I’m ready to cry and then I tell Jimmy to make decisions for me 🙃

I think as I adjust to three kids and Dakota begins sleeping more I will probably feel less foggy and will find a new routine and won’t feel so indecisive with how we spend our time.

It was also nice, at my postpartum visit, when the midwife asked to hear my birth story. She just wanted to ask how I felt about everything. It was so kind. Speaking of kindness, I would not be able to survive right now without the kindness of people in our lives. Our neighbor Bernadette has kept us well fed and has been a source of encouragement. My mom has helped me with the kids so much and has just listened to me talk. My sister has listened and prayed and loved on me. Jimmy has been a rock for our family. I wouldn’t be where I am right now without God blessing me with these wonderful people in my life 🤍

My number one emotion is gratitude. For this life God has blessed me with. For my family. Everything!

Favorites

My favorite things have been everyday moments like going to the library with all three kids, getting fresh air as a family, going out to eat/for ice cream/bowling/etc., waking up and remembering Dakota is here(!), seeing her grow right before our eyes, and seeing Dakota respond to her siblings with smiles.

Nursing favorites: Nursing pads and nursing cover

Mom favorites: hormone supplement and Starbucks coffee 😇

Baby favorites: Baby carrier, swaddles, and changing pad liners

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I think that’s everything for the past six weeks! Feeling so much thankfulness to God for Dakota and our family 🫶🥰