freedom

Love All. Please One.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is people pleasing. I’ve long known that I naturally have a people pleasing personality. I just really, really like to make others happy. That in and of itself isn’t a bad quality. When it competes with doing God’s will, it then becomes a problem.

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Doing the right thing in God’s eyes often means upsetting someone. Saying no to someone or something in order to say yes to God often means upsetting someone. Pleasing God instead of people often means upsetting someone.

The thing is, as a Christian, I am called to love others. There is a distinct difference between people pleasing and loving, though.

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I am to love all, but I am only to please One. The One I am to please is God. Period. Thank goodness for that! Imagine if we had to please God and man. That would be exhausting. I know this because I try to do it all the time.

When I find myself upset at not being able to please everyone, or sad that someone is mad at me for doing the right thing in God’s eyes, I have to stop and remind myself that I am to love all, but please One.

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When I feel that familiar tug of people pleasing that leaves me feeling anxious and weary, I take a moment to remember Who I am to please. That allows me to love those around me, and helps me recognize my priorities and goal in life.

There is so much freedom in that.

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Freedom

After much internal debate, crying, praying, and talking with my parents and favorite communications professor/adviser, I decided to drop meteorology from my schedule.

Bye bye textbook that I wasted $92.00 on.

I wasn’t earning a low grade in the class (I had a 91% when I dropped it), but I was on my way to a low grade and more importantly, a possible nervous breakdown. I took 15 credits this semester, which is normal for me. Because I’m a junior, all of my classes are getting tougher and tougher.

Bye bye stupid clouds.

Meteorology was giving me a hard time. I was spending hours upon hours studying the textbook, taking notes, and reviewing. I guess I just wan’t getting it because my test grades kept dropping, despite me devoting more time to the class each week. I started out with test grades in the 90% range, then 80s, then 70s, and my last test grade was a 66.7%.

At that point, I had a decision to make: keep spending more time on concepts that I don’t understand and a class that is seriusly stressing me out or drop the class and probably graduate one semester late. I had never dropped a class before, so it felt like a big deal, especially considering the consequence. I really try to commit to my studies and give my full effort, so it felt like I was giving up.

Bye bye radar images that I don’t understand.

I decided to drop the class because I was too stressed out. I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. I was seriously on autopilot in my life. All I did each day was run, study, go to school, eat, and sleep. I was having to ignore the important relationships in my life, and I wasn’t putting my relationship with Christ first. I was miserable and anxious.

Yes, I will probably have to graduate one semester late. Oh well. It’s all in God’s plan. What’s more important to me is knowing my limits, enjoying my life, and putting my relationship with God first.

To be completely honest, after I dropped the class, I still went through an internal struggle. I felt guilty for not taking care of myself and I also felt guilty for dropping the class. I quickly got over it once I realized how it felt to have a little bit of free time in my life!

Bye bye wind charts that make no sense.

It’s not that I didn’t like meteorology, I really did (aside from the math aspect of the class). The material was extremely interesting to be because I’m obsessed with the weather. Liking the class made it that much harder to drop it, but I knew it was the right choice for me. I also respect meteorologists so much more now!

Of course I feel like a weenie for only taking 12 credits this semester, but I’m continually learning my limits in life. Everyone is different, and I’m happy with my decision. So is Jimmy and my family because now I have stopped complaining, crying, and begging them to help me understand my homework. I now have freedom from the anxiety that was choking me, and for that I am thankful!

I am also so thankful to my awesome communications professor, Dr. Wood. She took the time out of her day (on the weekend, too!!) to email back and forth with me and advise me with full honesty. She’s the best.

Have you ever had to drop a class or make a tough decision with long-term consequences?