christianity | Living My Full Life

Something that I’ve learned about myself over the past year is that I am an emotional person. I feel and experience things very deeply. While I sometimes wish I didn’t cry while watching commercials, I am thankful that I experience the full range of human emotion.

I’m currently reading the You’re Already Amazing LifeGrowth Guide by Holley Gerth and gaining a lot of insight into how God has made everyone exactly as they are for a reason.

While it’s easy for me to feel like I’m weak because I’m sensitive, I am learning to view this trait as an asset to serving God. Being sensitive often means that I pick up on small details. When I talk with a friend, I try to pay attention to their body language and listen to hear how they’re really doing. I cherish deep one-on-one conversations, and I feel amazing when I can lend a listening ear to someone who just needs to talk.

Understanding that no emotion is “wrong” or “bad” has made a huge difference in my life. I can vividly remember crying in my elementary school library as a child because I forgot to return a library book. It felt like a big deal to me at the time because I had never once forgotten to return a library book. While I know the librarian had the intention to soothe me by saying “Don’t cry! It’s okay!” I also know that she sent a message to my younger self that crying and feeling upset = not okay.

What the LifeGrowth Guide is teaching me is that all emotions are a gift from God that help us process everything we go through in life. When I’m feeling stressed out, I can stop and think what is this emotion telling me? Do I need rest? Connection? Something else? Negative emotions also prompt me to question whether or not I am believing a lie from Satan.

When I start to believe I’m not good enough or I can’t do something, I am learning to stop and ask myself what scripture says about these thoughts. I can do all things through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and God loves me with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Knowing that I have the Bible as a tool to confront the lies that are all too easy to believe is incredibly life-giving and works to strengthen my faith as I learn more about who God is and how he cares for me.

Doubt and lies absolutely thrive in isolation and darkness. When we keep things to ourselves, we feel alone. I know that when I bring my cares and concerns into the light of loving relationships–whether it’s in person, through a quick text message, or an email–that connection with someone who loves me and can speak the truth against the lies makes all the difference. Opening up about things that are more than surface-level prompts others to do the same and deepens relationships. This is the embodiment of Ephesians 4:15:

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15

We may know what is true, but don’t always feel it. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with us. It simply means that we’re human and are working on being transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). God understands this because He’s the one who made us and doesn’t demand us to feel a certain way, but rather asks that we keep believing, growing, and obeying.

Here’s to growing in Christ every day and learning to trust and enjoy the process!

Things I’m learning

1. Act like the person you want to be.
We are all growing, learning, and changing every day. I’m not who I was a year ago, and I will continue to change. I know the person I want to be, and I’m continually working on being that person. I want to be someone who is faithful to God, mentally strong, loving, selfless, and balanced. Am I that person every day? Nope. Not at all. On the hard days, where I feel like I make every mistake in the book, I’m learning to act like the person I want to be. It’s like the “fake it till you make it” concept.

I have learned that trying things–whether it’s becoming a better person, learning a new hobby, etc.–is about consistency, not perfection. We’re never going to be perfect or do things perfectly, but we can consistently try, and that’s what counts. We all have rough days, but keeping the big picture in mind is what it’s all about. If we’re trying our best, one mistake or bad day isn’t the end of the world, it’s simply a learning experience.

2. Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser.
I suppose this is something that I have learned before, but I continually learn it in different ways. I’m someone who like to have well-laid plans. For the day, week, month, year, etc. It feels comforting to have an idea of what’s happening in my life, what I’d like to do, and know that it’s all written down in my trusty little planner.

For example, just a week ago, I mentioned in this post that Jimmy and I knew in 2016 that we’d be working, getting a puppy, and staying involved with our church. Guess what? We’re not getting a puppy. Unfortunately, some circumstances happened that were out of our control and led us to have to make a decision about whether or not we should get the puppy we’ve been planning on taking into our home for a few months. After prayer and thinking the circumstances through, we decided that God has other plans.

We wrote something down in pencil and God erased it. I don’t know why, but I trust Him. Sometimes time will tell, sometimes things just don’t work out and we won’t know why on this side of heaven. We never know what God has in store for the future, but we can trust that it’s going to be much better than anything we could have planned ourselves!

What have you been learning lately?