I hope my blog isn’t one of those blogs where my life always comes off as happy and perfect. Cause it isn’t. At all. I have days where I feel really sad or stressed. (Just yesterday I was CRYING over homework for no reason-now that I think of it, it was quite funny). I hate to whine and complain, so I suppose that is why I don’t admit things all the time. But today I will.

I’m afraid to race. (I just typed that and felt so silly.)

I haven’t ran a running race since June 4th.

The race was a hilly 5 miler. I got a time of 35:00 (7:00 minute pace on the dot). I was sore immediately after the race because I know I went too hard.

Ever since that race I have had problems with my knee.

Now i’m afraid to race because I don’t want to feel pain in my knee anymore.

BLEH!

I should remind myself how much fun I have had racing this past year. Commence photo time.

A local 5k in May.

A cold 10k in April.

My 2nd half marathon. (In March)

A costume race in October. (I was batman)

Pittsburgh Pirates 5k in early April.

I guess I am putting too much stress on myself to run great races every single race. When I look at these pictures I can see how happy I was and I didn’t run perfectly in every race but I had fun.

I’m thinking about doing a costume race the day before Halloween (the same one as last year!). This should give me enough time to become confident in my running.

I hate complaining and admitting i’m afraid to run a race when my own grandfather was just diagnosed with bone cancer. But everyone struggles with different battles and mine is always fear. 

*****

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13