mental-health

Take Care

Yesterday, I was thinking about how happy I am to have more free time because I dropped one of my classes this semester.

I will be the first to admit that sometimes I don’t take the best care of myself. Mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

When I first started this blog, I was swimming competitively. I truly enjoyed swimming (and still do), but I didn’t enjoy the demanding schedule that came along with swimming for a team. Now that I look back, I realize that I wasn’t taking care of myself at that time because I was forcing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do.

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This semester, I couldn’t keep up with my schedule. I took a course that was too hard for my abilities. I thought I would be able to stick it out, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t taking care of myself because I was stressed beyond belief and not spending time with friends or family.

I enjoy swimming on my own terms. I enjoy school when I can handle my course load.

I have realized that it’s so important to take care of myself.

Personally, taking care of myself means…

Asking for help when I need it
Being okay with saying no
Making time for friends and family
Making time to be alone
Writing in my journal
Spending time with God every day
Goofing off and laughing until I cry
Spending time doing nothing
Getting enough sleep and eating well
Being nice to myself when I make mistakes
Being open with others
Enjoying the little things in life
Accepting myself as a work in progress
Not stressing too much about taking care of myself

How do you take care of yourself?

Freedom

After much internal debate, crying, praying, and talking with my parents and favorite communications professor/adviser, I decided to drop meteorology from my schedule.

Bye bye textbook that I wasted $92.00 on.

I wasn’t earning a low grade in the class (I had a 91% when I dropped it), but I was on my way to a low grade and more importantly, a possible nervous breakdown. I took 15 credits this semester, which is normal for me. Because I’m a junior, all of my classes are getting tougher and tougher.

Bye bye stupid clouds.

Meteorology was giving me a hard time. I was spending hours upon hours studying the textbook, taking notes, and reviewing. I guess I just wan’t getting it because my test grades kept dropping, despite me devoting more time to the class each week. I started out with test grades in the 90% range, then 80s, then 70s, and my last test grade was a 66.7%.

At that point, I had a decision to make: keep spending more time on concepts that I don’t understand and a class that is seriusly stressing me out or drop the class and probably graduate one semester late. I had never dropped a class before, so it felt like a big deal, especially considering the consequence. I really try to commit to my studies and give my full effort, so it felt like I was giving up.

Bye bye radar images that I don’t understand.

I decided to drop the class because I was too stressed out. I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. I was seriously on autopilot in my life. All I did each day was run, study, go to school, eat, and sleep. I was having to ignore the important relationships in my life, and I wasn’t putting my relationship with Christ first. I was miserable and anxious.

Yes, I will probably have to graduate one semester late. Oh well. It’s all in God’s plan. What’s more important to me is knowing my limits, enjoying my life, and putting my relationship with God first.

To be completely honest, after I dropped the class, I still went through an internal struggle. I felt guilty for not taking care of myself and I also felt guilty for dropping the class. I quickly got over it once I realized how it felt to have a little bit of free time in my life!

Bye bye wind charts that make no sense.

It’s not that I didn’t like meteorology, I really did (aside from the math aspect of the class). The material was extremely interesting to be because I’m obsessed with the weather. Liking the class made it that much harder to drop it, but I knew it was the right choice for me. I also respect meteorologists so much more now!

Of course I feel like a weenie for only taking 12 credits this semester, but I’m continually learning my limits in life. Everyone is different, and I’m happy with my decision. So is Jimmy and my family because now I have stopped complaining, crying, and begging them to help me understand my homework. I now have freedom from the anxiety that was choking me, and for that I am thankful!

I am also so thankful to my awesome communications professor, Dr. Wood. She took the time out of her day (on the weekend, too!!) to email back and forth with me and advise me with full honesty. She’s the best.

Have you ever had to drop a class or make a tough decision with long-term consequences?