An update

Other titles that I considered for this post include: “The struggle was real” and “I suck at life.” Anywaaaays, I need to update everyone on something that has changed…

Flower

This picture has nothing to do with this post. I just thought the flower was really pretty. So yeah…


Sadly, Jimmy and I no longer have Ford and Scout. We honestly just couldn’t handle all of the work involved with two puppies. It turned out that most of the puppy responsibilities fell on my shoulders because Jimmy works a lot.

I began to realize that I couldn’t finish college, complete my internship, keep up our house, and do everything else in my life while taking care of two puppies. It felt like Jimmy and I had twin toddlers before we even hit the two-month mark in our marriage. Yikes.

I had a major cry-fest/breakdown one evening while I was home alone with the puppies because I was so overwhelmed with everything. Jimmy walked in the door and was like “Okay… we need to do something because you being this stressed out is not good.”

We talked. We debated. I cried some more. Neither of us wanted to give them up, but we also knew that we wanted them (and us) to have the best life possible. We finally called the breeder and she gladly took Ford and Scout back. Since then, I have felt every emotion under the sun. Guilt, sadness, relief, foolishness, and anger (at myself).

Basically, I felt like a selfish failure. Why couldn’t I take care of two puppies? Why did I think it would be a good idea to get two puppies while finishing school, an internship, being a newlywed, and new homeowner? I questioned myself. I have always identified myself as a dog lover. Suddenly, I felt like I obviously must not love dogs if I gave up mine and Jimmy’s puppies.

It’s been about two weeks since we gave Ford and Scout back to our breeder, and I’m feeling much better about the whole ordeal. Do I still feel guilty and foolish? Yes. I get super sad when I look at pictures of them. IΒ realize that we made a good choice for us and the puppies, but it’s still hard to swallow, you know?

I’ve come to realize that I’m still “allowed” to be a identify myself as a dog loverΒ even if I decided puppies weren’t right for us right now. I think I actually freak my family and friends out by how much I love learning/talking about dogs.

My parents asked Jimmy and I if we wanted to take Lola in for a while (or forever, if we want) since we really missed having furry friends around. They knew that as an eight-year-old dog, Lola is a lot easier to care for than eight-week-old puppies.

Lola

So, we said yes. And it has been amazing. I missed seeing Lola since I moved out, and I like to think she’s missed me, too ;). She’s my best buddy and I love her so much. She’s being spoiled with walks, homemade food and treats, cuddle sessions, and trips to the pet store and errand runs.

I realize that I made a mistake in thinking that I could handle two puppies at this stage in my life. It was a painful mistake, but definitely not the end of the world (at all…). In my opinion, learning from mistakes is one of the best forms of learning and growing.

I’ve realized that I need to know my limits, it’s okay to make mistakes, and that I’m still allowed to love something that I can’t always handle (<– that makes total sense, right?!).

So, expect to see more of Lola on my blog again, and more about dogs in general. I have a lot of topics I’ve and information I want to share :).

Have you ever made a big mistake?

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38 comments

  1. At least you were honest with yourself. A lot of people don’t understand the work involved when it comes to a puppy, let alone two of them! They just see a cute and fluffy furball and want to take it home ASAP! Being stressed wasn’t good for you or them. You did the right thing!

    1. Yeah, we definitely thought we were prepared because we did so much research, etc., but it just wasn’t the right time for us! Being stressed out about everything was just no good all around. It was so hard to be honest with myself, but I’m so glad we made the (tough) choice.

  2. I’m really sorry you had to give the dogs away, but it looks like they will find good homes, and I’m glad you have Lola there for company. It seems like you took it pretty hard (I probably would have too), but you made the right decision because if you’re stressed out and can’t give the puppies all the attention they deserve… you will suffer and they will sense that and know it too. Clay and I dog sat for 3 weeks this summer and it was hard enough, and neither of us are in school and I even work at my home. A puppy (especially 2) is extremely tough and you have a lot of new things in your life right now to go with it- a marriage and a new home and graduation coming up. Oh, and giving them up does not make me think of you as any less of an animal lover because I’ve been reading long enough to know that πŸ™‚

    1. Oh man, I did take it so hard. I’m still taking it hard, haha. Lola is definitely helping, though! You’re right–I didn’t want the puppies (or myself) to suffer from my mistake. There’s just too much (new) stuff going on in my life right now to deal with two puppies. It was such a hard decision, but I know it was the right one. And thank you for your sweet comment about knowing I’m an animal love. That seriously made my day!

  3. What a great post baby! I know it was difficult for both if you, but you truly know, deep down, it was best for ALL of you. The puppies were at a good age to be re-homed, and you and Jimmy really need this time to adjust to marries life, and all the fun things you can go and see and do without worrying about puppies every 2 hours. I’m proud of you and your decision, it was extremely unselfish and mature. I love you, and thank you for taking such good care of your sweet little Lola!! ❀ mom

    1. Thanks, Madre!! It was seriously SO hard, as you know from me bawling my eyes out, but I think it was the right choice. You’re right that they’re at a good age to be re-homed, too. Thank you so much for the comment! ❀

  4. Honestly Allie, I think that is the best thing you both could have done. You know your limits and life is about being happy. You will be able to take care of puppies but you have so much going on. You cannot be sad right now, you made an incredibly wise and smart choice.

    1. Thanks, Hollie!! It was such a hard choice and it made me so sad, but I think I would have been more sad if we kept the puppies, you know? It was just way too much. Thanks for your sweet comment!

  5. I can definitely see how sad it is to have to give up the puppies.. but I think you made the right decision. They will have a good life wherever they go, and I even think it was very unselfish of you to give them up – someone else will get to raise sweet puppies! You have plenty of time to have dogs in the future. And girl you have so much on your plate right now, you are incredible!

    1. Thank you, Leigha!! You’re right that they will end up having a good life with another owner and that I have more time in the future for puppies. Thanks for your sweet comment πŸ™‚

  6. Oh I am so sorry Allie!! That must have been so tough! But I think you made the right decision! This reminds me of the time my dad let me get a kitten (even though he has severe allergies). He thought he wouldn’t be too bothered but when winter came and we were all inside more he started having a lot of symptoms and decided we could no longer keep the cat. It was a bad decision to begin with knowing he had allergies….but it was so so hard to give him up! I still miss him to this day! 😦

    1. Thanks for sharing your cat story, Kaila! I had no idea about that! It’s so hard to re-home a pet, but I’m coming to realize that sometimes you just have to, you know?

  7. What a whirlwind of emotion! I’m sorry that you had to give Ford and Scout up, and you are completely justified in feeling everything that you felt. You made the right decision though. I’m excited to see more photos of Lola! And you are definitely still a dog-lover!! That doesn’t go away just because you had a make a tough, mature decision. Enjoy the current chapter! That’s all you should focus on right now.

    1. So. many. emotions. Ugh, haha. Thank you so much for this sweet comment and for reassuring me that I’m still a dog-lover :). Tough choices are always a learning experience for me. And you’re right–I need to just focus on all of the good/amazing/wonderful stuff in my life right now. There’s a lot of that!

  8. Oh girl, I have been there. Seriously. We adopted a boxer puppy who we named Dante after we’d been married about a year. We were still living in an apartment and the constant up and down the stairs with a puppy was way more than we realized it would be. We felt all those same feelings you describe, but we decided to give him up in less than a week. We found a new home for him and I still get updates on how he’s doing all these years later. And no one would ever question if I’m a dog lover when they hear me talk about Oreo or the dogs we’ve fostered. So I definitely still consider you to be a dog lover! I’ve seen how much you love Lola! Sometimes adding a new member to the family isn’t what’s best for your family. And that’s okay. It’s better to recognize your limits and find them a good home (or back to the breeder who you know will find them a good home) than to neglect the puppies because you are so busy. So yeah, definitely!

    1. Wow, it’s so good to know that someone has actually been through pretty much the same exact thing and known all of the emotions I have been going through. Thank you so much for this comment, Rach. It made my day!

  9. No I never make mistakes, I’m perfect πŸ™‚ JUST KIDDING! I can’t have an animal in my apartment but still consider myself an animal lover. I feel bad when my friends and coworkers have dogs they need good homes for because I can’t take them. It’s part of life. God will give you dogs when He knows you can handle them. It was smart of you to give the puppies back because they will go to a home that can take really good care of them πŸ™‚

    1. Hahah, that made me smile! You’re right… just because you can’t have an animal right now doesn’t mean you don’t love all the animals :). Thanks for this comment, Ellie!

  10. Allie, I am sure it was a terribly hard decision for you to return your pups…but in the long run, it seems like it was the best choice for you guys. You have SO many things going on in your life and puppies are HARD!! (We rescued Colby when he was almost 1 because we KNEW we wouldn’t be able to house train/train/socialize a puppy with our work schedules.) You are still a dog lover – and some day, it might be right for you g uys to get a dog or two. I love Colby – but I totally think this whole twin gig would be easier without a needy dog to tag along. It’s HARD. You did the right thing. Have no regrets. Finish up your school, enjoy your marriage and Jimmy..and just live life!

    1. It was such a hard decision. You’re right though, in the long run, it was probably the best choice. I had no idea Colby was one when you rescued him! That’s awesome and I’m sure it was a lot easier! Thanks so much for your comment!!

  11. The thing about ‘big mistakes’ is that they’re often just decisions we made before realizing that it wasn’t the right one for us… It’s a learning experience. I think you made the smart, mature decision by weighing all of your options and knowing that two puppies were too much for this stage of your life right now. (I mean, I definitely can’t imagine having to raise two puppies after just getting married. You’re already adjusting to SO much! And it’s also a great time to be able to travel a bit and to just enjoy life with you and your hubby. Being a newlywed is amazing but also challenging sometimes, so taking time for just you to is probably the BEST thing that you could have done). πŸ™‚ Plus it sounds as though both puppies will end up at amazing homes, so you made sure they were going back to a safe place that will help them find that. You didn’t fail by any means.
    Honestly, being an adult – especially a married adult who owns a home – comes with so many difficult decisions. There have been decisions in my past that I wonder, “Hmmm, should we have bought this house?” or “should we have bought a cheaper car?” or “was this job change the best decision?” You just have to pray about big decisions and then make the best decision you can with the information you have. Sometimes, these decisions may end up feeling like a ‘big mistake’, but the are just learning experiences. And from that, you can pick yourself up and trust that God will guide you in the best path going forward.
    So don’t be hard on yourself at all!
    (And I can’t wait to see all of those sweet pics of Lola). πŸ™‚

    1. I love the way you re-framed “big mistakes” and I think that’s just such a good way of looking at it. You’re right that I am adjusting to so much and that now is the time to travel and enjoy life with my new husband!! Thank you so much for the sweet comment, Nicole! ❀

  12. I am so sorry! But it sounds like you made a really good decision! You two have a lot going on right now! I am sure it was really hard, but you need to do what is best for you, and Jimmy πŸ™‚ I am a VERY impulsive person and I don’t always make the best decisions…mistakes are part of life! I moved out of my parent’s house and got my own apartment before I even graduated from college! Ha, I didn’t have any income and rent was due! Luckily it worked out, but I probably should have waited til I graduated and had a job before getting my own place πŸ˜‰

  13. Making that decision must have been so tough. But you sound like you have plenty on your plate, without adding any more to it at the moment. I can empathize with you: last October my mum and I went to get a puppy. I grew up with dogs and my mum has always had them so we weren’t new to dog-ownership. But after everything my mum went through with her illness, it just wasn’t the right time to add the responsibility of looking after a puppy to our lives, so she called the breeder and took the puppy back. It was a difficult decision (I cried a lot!) but I think it was the right one.
    I’m sure you made the right decision too!

    1. It truly was a really tough decision, but you’re right, I have a on on my plate right now and I don’t need to add any more! I’m sorry you weren’t able to get a puppy with your mom and had to give it back to the breeder. It’s so hard!! I think you made the right decision too πŸ™‚

  14. On the contrary….it makes you more of a dog lover because you we’re able to Mae the very hard decision. And we lern from mistakes even though I don’t think you made one in the least….I’m sure there was a lot to learn.

  15. You made the right decision. I can’t handle puppies and often compare them to babies because they really are so similar!! Older dogs are much wiser and calmer for this stage in your life, and every stage in mine!! HA. The pups will get a great home, and you will get your sanity back!

    1. Puppies truly are a lot like babies!! We were up in the night with them every night so they could go to the bathroom–just like babies..kinda haha. Yes, having an older dog is just a lot easier right now! Thanks for this comment πŸ™‚

  16. Allie, I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been returning Scout and Ford to their breeder. I know how easy it is to get attached to pets and how quickly they become a part of the family. But I truly admire you for making that difficult decision…it just goes to show how mature and wise you are. You did the absolute best thing possible, both for you and for the puppies.

    1. Oh Carli, it was SO hard. I can’t even explain how hard I cried, haha!! It was so easy to get attached to them, but I know we had to change something because I was getting way too stressed out! Thank you so much for this comment!

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