It’s no secret that I want kids one day. I know that I’m only 19 years old and thinking about kids at my age is crazy, but I still think about it and I do want kids. That’s just me.

I feel as if God has put it in my heart to be a mom one day, whether by birth or through adoption.  When God calls us to do something it doesn’t mean that we aren’t afraid to do it; yes I want children, but i’m also afraid to be a terrible mom!

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Anyways, I wanted to write a letter to my future child and share it. So here it is:

Dear future child,

Hi… I love you. I am writing this WAY before you are born, I still feel like a kid myself, but I just wanted to let you know that I already love you so much. Is that crazy or what?! I think about you sometimes, especially when I see parents with their children at the mall or in the grocery store. I wonder what you will look like. Will you have crazy curly hair? I wonder what you will think of this world. Will you wish people were nicer? I wonder who your dad will be. I wonder if you will like peanut butter as much as I do. I’m not sure that is possible. I wonder what you will like- will you be a bookworm? Will you like to run like I do?

Whatever you decide like and whoever you decide to be, I love you no matter what. As I’m writing this it is nighttime. I can’t wait to tuck you in bed and read you stories or tickle your back until you fall asleep. If you have a bad dream I promise I will be right by your side to calm you down. When we go places I want to hold your hand and keep you safe by my side. When you cry I want to hold you and wipe your tears away. When you scrape your knee or fall out of a tree I will be right there to pick you up and give you a band-aid or take you to the ER. 

I want to teach you as much as I can about this world. Don’t be shy to explore and ask questions, you can learn so much by being inquisitive! If you want something that you feel is worth having then it is worth working hard for, I promise. I want to teach you about God and how awesome He is. I hope you will have a love for God because He always loves you just like I do.

You can tell me anything. When you are afraid, you can tell me. When you are happy, you can tell me. When you are upset, you can tell me. When you want ice cream, please tell me so we can go get some!

 When you are at that tender middle-school age, I want you to know that I understand. I got pimples too (oh wait… I still get them..). Your peers will probably pick on you and it will probably make you feel bad. I understand, I have been through it and I want to tell you that it will pass and everyone will grow up (some kids will never grow up-stay away from them! JK!). When you become a teenager I want you to know that I am here for you and that you don’t have to give in to peer pressure to be cool. Drinking is not cool. Drugs are not cool. You can have many other ways. 

I’m still young, but I have learned a bit so far in my short life. Money isn’t everything and it can’t buy you happiness. Traveling can be such an awesome experience, try to see as much of the world as you can. I hope you aren’t afraid of planes like I am. It’s okay to do things like shopping or seeing a movie by yourself. Don’t worry about reputation, worry about character. Reputation is who people think you are and character is who you really are. I want to let you know that it is okay to be a little weird, you have more fun when you don’t care what people think of you. 

We might fight when you are a teenager, it will be okay. I fight with my mom sometimes but I love her so very much and I know she loves me. Your grandma is pretty cool and she already loves you too. I have been lucky to have a dad my whole life and I hope you get the same blessing as I do because having a dad is so awesome.

I also wanted to let you know that I’m a bit intimidated by you. Right now, at age 19, I am selfish and cannot imagine waking up in the night to change a diaper. It is hard for me to imagine being responsible for another human, but I am going to try my very hardest. I’m sure I will make a lot of mistakes and I hope you will forgive me because life is a learning process. I pray for you already. I ask God to send you to me at the right time and I ask him to make me who I need to be to best take care of you. I love you so much already and I can’t wait to meet you some day. 

Love, 

Your future Mom.